I didnt even dare to open yk comment box. haiz. idon wan noe wat she rite i m riting here. cos i gues sometings i donn wan to noe as well. tings that i have exxagerated i don dare to tink. bt they seem to come floating , i m sick. i noe i ncnt fin revision, jus trying to brace myself bt my life is in a total mess. TOTAL. i kp tinking of tings i don wan tink. the lies i have said or js out of exaggeration all Float into my mind. i m perturbed by the truth. Rmbred wat i rd in des blog. The person u cnt lie to is the one u see upon the mirror. u cnt lie. cos uu noe fully well that all those lies are lies.Haiz. i didnt wan to bejave in this amnner. bt some how i have already accustomed to this way ofliving and its like its so embedded into me that it ahs already bcome part of me. Part of wat i ahve to eb. a normal instinct. its like my basiic Intinct is already automatically tuned to A.A. its jus as bad as amanda, i noe. bt i cnt control it animore. I m a freak. yea. kal me tat.

I guess

O god. i m sick. i reli am. i donnoe how to face it anymore. i don wan a fren like tt. i wan a fren tt reli caRES when i m sick. not jus in mi gossip or wat. i nd a fren tt truely care for mi well being n not on the latest story tt i have to cook up. to interest the person or wat. i reli nd someone tt cares even bout boring old complaints like homework. i noe in term of homework, nnobody cn really help u if u choose not to help urselves. bt then it is like the WORLD crashes when u jus realise tt u made a fren tt oni is so called close to u bcos the person want to have ur latest gossip n story tt u cn spin off ur mouth, n yearn for the frens u once have had. Its reli stoopid./Between him n me. we have nuthing. One surface we have seemed to share mani things alredi. Like erm he told me a lot of his WORES tt he told no others. I appreciate him in treating me as someone trustworthy enuf to tell to. Bt when its mi turn to WOE out, he normally gib no reactions. n then sae tt hes tinking. DAMN it. n the worST thing is i stil try to carry on sucking up to him. LAO eh.

I alwaes try to lie to like pretend tt i ahev alot of tins to tok to him. actuali is we ahve no common issue. its jus tt we both DO try to fake sth out. ESP me. i do mi best to spin tales tt r both real n unreal to attract his attention. LAO. We cnt last if the foundation we lie on is a pack of lies. complete utter lies. NOt reli all. bt still sufficient to make me sink in shame.

N the most main pt is. i found tt we cnt communicate bout each other DER Bu hao points. the mometn i tell him, he sort of gt emo n angry or wat. he cnt accoept. it. n he don dare to sae aniothing to me. then r we considered transcend boundaries. N''O! Sigh. since we cnt transcend this stage, n we don ahev anymuch common topic, n tt we also cnnt have the frens WARMTH. i guess its beta i drift awae. the ting is i cnt. i m frightened of not toking to him completely. i sort of tink hes asian man. he cnt std pple emo-ing arnd him . i kind of wanna loosen mi griop. yet don dare. I don noe. i wan to throw in e towel. yet i m frightened of the consequences of throwing in e towel . I don wan to lie animor. i m sick of opening msn everytime to hope tt he is there. RELi. i jus wan to be free. its eating in to my heart. its making so pressuriSED. EVERYDAY. i m living in presssure n FEAR> i gt irritated n EMO easily. i gt short circuited. i toooo overly paranoid. I M SICK> haiZ. n the worst tinG is no ohter CRUSH gave me tt feeling. the WORS Twas GJ. bt we oni sort of Talked like once a wk so itsss like okau.
N i tink he sort of using me. everytime we tok, we speak to each other in suan-ing tones. SIan diao. meebee tt e wae we cn oni communicate effectivley.. bt i m gting more n more TIRED of commmunicating in thiWAE. i m sick tt we cnt speak properly at all. i m sick tt i m jsu a form of entnertainment. i m eeee MOST sick tt despite everything, i stil don dare to losssen the grip of ho\im.

jj

The continuation Of Whether ministers should have high pay????//

With new satistics, i m going to give new comments..... Ooops... the teacher sae"complete the last sentence...." So i think i have to go hm b for ei continue blogging at home...

Sould ministers have such high pays...?

This is mi new gp blog.....So i m now supposed to talk bout whether ministers shld have such high pays lar.... Basically i think mi final conclusion would be NO!!!!I read quite a few articles in the strait times forum bout this issue... i could rmbr vividly quite well this particular article that stood on the side of the ministers geting high pays... It presented a fairly good argument... bt i thot it was not logical in some sense... the article brought out the pt that leaders in other region of the world, or if more specifically south east Asia, are not as well paid as our leaders...But leaders like thaksin or Taiwan president Chen shui ban, have dishonored themselves by involving themselves in corruption... so in general the person was trying to argue that it is more worthwhile to give the leaders more salary than to have them subject to corruption... Well this sounds vvv logical, since the country would incur more losses if they were to have to have a bunch of leaders that are lowly paid but involve themselves in corruption...


But if we were to look at this article... and summarize what the author is trying to sae... u wil find that it is not the least logical... Are u trying to sae that by giving the leader higher salaries... they r less likely to b corrupted? .. Well i doubt...Greed only beget more Greed... Look at Durai... his salary is high enough but still look at his behavior... No one would sae no to more money...even if he is alrdy RICH....Look.. i m not saeing that our leaders r corrupted.... bt i m jus stating that the high salary of the leaders should not be justified by saeing that such salaries are to prevent corruption...Because it will not...Also the article also argued that our leaders being the capable leaders they are, having brought Singapore to hts within a generation, should deserve the high salary... True... i agree.. Bt I have to sae this...

They deserve the high salaries, but they should not take high salaries... Tis sound contradictory... but wait... i willl explain..An average minister may have the same qualifications as a manager or even CEO of a listed company ...and with his qualifications and capabilities....he deserve such high salaries... bt don 4 get...the pay for the CEO comes frm the profit of the company... but the minister's pay>? Tax payer’s money.... Should the ministers... still b drawing so much money... when we the taxpayers are alrdy.,.. Experiencing the rise in GST? Look the rise of GST affect students as much....Thus though the leader may deserve so much money.. but they as the leaders…should not do so,,,


Recently.. I wos
experiencing the running of campaign of new council nominees... and i rmbred part of a council nomineesspeech.. " If u vote mi as ur leader... i promise... i will be a leader that walks not ahead of u.., but with u..." Well if we need leaders that walk with us, Y r they still drawing high salaries, while we the commoners r now being charged mr for 1 slice of pizza at pizza hut?????//And it is not as with without such high salaries, we cant have talents.... Bill Clinton during his visit to Singapore commented on the high salaries our leaders draw... Isnt Bill Clinton a good leader...But Y is he willing to draw lower pays??? An annual income of 3.1 million is relli too much...

I recently studied in econs ... about wage diffenetials.. Ministers enjoy many non-monetary benefits... and thus they shold not have the desire that their salaries are pegged to the market rate of those top people in the private sector... /Coz... rmbr.. nono CEOs have the privilledge of attending functions wif so many bodyguards... No body except 4 e president of Singapore can have a chance to stand up in the middle of the stadium and wave to all the citizens....Thus they should not compare their salaries with the people in the top sector.. I t is v unfair.

Further more it is not fair to say that the if the pay were to be lower than the market rate of top sector leaders.. ...then nobody with talent would want to take part in politics.... Cozz.. the oringinal pay was well enough judging by the long stream of new talent that just contested for the recent election... And if our government jus weigh out the number of things that they could have done with the bucks they use 4 the pay increase... For exampkle...they coud hav increased the no of the subsidies for the poor in terms of transport fees... it would be more meaningful this way..
or else Y would we nd leadrs that walk not ahead of us ... but with us... LoL